


Odi et Amo

by Tigerlily28



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-10 00:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12899976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tigerlily28/pseuds/Tigerlily28
Summary: "This is your fault. Why did you not protect her with your life?"For the first time, Merlin realized exactly his place in Arthur's life and his role in destiny. His only regret was that he will not live long enough to see the Albion that he has dreamed of for so long. He will not see the king that Arthur will become. But he can not bare to live with Arthur's regret and sorrow at his lost love, at his lost happiness. Stolen from him. By Merlin.





	1. Chapter 1

Bow taut. Aim locked. 'You're mine' 

"Ooof!" Arthur stumbled forward into the clearing as a solid mass collide into him from behind. The stag, alarmed by the commotion, turned its head towards the hunter, now clearly visible thanks to his oaf of a servant, and sprang away into the undergrowth, it's life spared from the king's bow. 

"MERLIN YOU IDIOT! You've literally scared away any living thing within 10 miles! If I don't return with any game at the end of the day, I'll skin YOU alive!" 

Merlin, sprawled face down on the ground, looked up. Seeing the usually pompously dignified king red in the face, the servant daringly showed a cheeky smile, which earned him a scowl and a shove from Arthur. 

"Stop smiling like an idiot and get up! We've a long day ahead thanks to you!" 

"Well, it's not exactly easy to carry all your equipment around! If you weren't such a spoilt and indulgent prat who needs to bring half of the castle with him for comfort, I wouldn't have to carry your things or even better, I wouldn't EVEN HAVE TO be here. Then you can hunt ALONE in peace and bring back your 'trophy' stag." 

"Are you alright Merlin? Here, let me give you a hand. Arthur, you really shouldn't be be too harsh on Merlin. He IS carrying your equipment after all." 

A pair of fur boots stopped before him and moments late the smiling face of Guinevere appeared in his line of sight, offering him a cheeky wink as the queen kneeled to offer Merlin a hand. Merlin smiled at his friend. 

"Pff. You're only spoiling him, my dear. He is the most useless servant in all of Camelot." 

Pulling at the vines tangled around his legs, Merlin staggered as quickly as he can onto his feet with the help of Gwen whilst carrying what felt like ten pounds of Arthur's precious 'equipment' on his back, before quickly racing after Arthur, fast receding from view, with the queen. Whilst Arthur searched for "glory" and "a thrill" in the hunt, Merlin only felt sickened by the thought of killing helpless animals and was either mercilessly teased by the pompous prat for his "girly" emotions or reprimanded by Arthur for his clumsiness. 

Usually a hunt with Arthur alone was pure hell for Merlin, but with Guinevere here today, the king was more reserved with his insults and Merlin found a companion and also a protector in the queen who likewise shared in his delight for teasing Arthur whilst simultaneously defending Merlin from the prat's incessant demands and criticism. Although the queen traditionally did not participate in the hunts, proud and stubborn Gwen, sick of being trapped in the stiflingly formal atmosphere of the castle, had insisted that she wanted to spend the day with her husband on the hunt. And Arthur, unable to deny his queen anything, caved. So now the three of them were hunting. Well, more like Arthur was doing the hunting while Merlin and Gwen trailed behind him to enjoy the scenery more than anything else. 

For the next two hours, Merlin trailed behind Gwen and Arthur like an obedient hound. However as the sun began its descent in the west, the king was growing more and more agitated, charging single-mindedly through the forest in search of prey in spite of his servant's incessant whining about his exhaustion which went ignored. There was no way that he would be returning empty handed to his castle. 

"Arthur, my feet are tired and raw from all the walking. Can we please go back to the castle now, dear? The sun is beginning to set." 

Gwen collapsed onto the ground and grimaced as she pulled off her boots to reveal her swollen foot, angry red. The stern lines on the king's face automatically softened and the determined set of his jaws relaxed at the sight of his wife, evidently suffering from his stubborn pride. Kneeling down, Arthur gently grabbed his wife's hands, kneaded them between his own calloused ones and kissed them softly. 

"My dear, we will return to the horses soon. Just half an hour more, I promise. If you are tired, stay here in the clearing and rest. Merlin will protect you. I won't wonder far, just a few more meters and then I promise we'll head back home to enjoy a pleasant evening together." 

Gwen sighed, nodded and smiled at her husband, who met her gaze with a look so tender and full of love that Merlin felt awkward watching them, as if he was intruding on a truly private moment. He looked away, feeling the pang in his chest that was always hidden and denied as if it was something truly ugly. The elvish servant did not know when he started longing for Arthur's smile or his lingering touch or even the banter and the playful shoves shared between them, but it was useless and even wrong of him to wish for such things when clearly the king loved beautiful, radiant, kind Guinevere with all his heart. And it made him happy to know that his king was happy. Even if it was with someone else. Merlin didn't begrudge Guinevere. How could he when she was his first friend and so deserving of love and happiness? So once again, the servant bowed his head and looked away, keeping that image of his shining golden Arthur deep in his heart, away from the light. 

"Come back soon, my love. Don't go too far." 

"I won't." Arthur sealed the promise with a chaste kiss. 

"Merlin, stay here with Gwen and protect her no matter what. I will be back very shortly." 

With his eyes still cast on the ground, Merlin nodded stiffly. And then Arthur turned and was gone. 

Merlin collapsed onto the ground with an "ooof" next to Gwen and both of them smiled at each other before simultaneously bursting into laughter. 'Probably delirious from exhaustion' through Merlin. Despite his evident exhaustion, the servant's senses were more alert than Gwen's, maybe due to his magic or maybe because the queen was just too tired. Thus when Merlin caught the sound of crackling leaves and snapping branch in the undergrowth, the servant whipped around, his breath catching in his throat. The flickering shadows cast by the dying sun danced through the forest like malevolent spirits, leaving his visual sensory redundant and his nerves uneasy in the darkening forest. Every muscle in Merlin's body tensed while his eyes darted around rapidly as he stood motionless, alert for any signs of movement around him. But only deafening silence greeted him. 

"Merlin, what's wrong?" Gwen tugged lightly at his arm, her delicate brows furrowed in concern and fear. 

"Nothing. I just through I heard something. It's probably just some animal." Merlin didn't know whether he was reassuring himself or Gwen. But the loud snapping of branches would indicate that even if the culprit was a beast, it would be quite big. And hopefully not predatory. But not a man to take chances, Merlin wanted to privately investigate the area just in case there was a threat, which his magic could easily dispatch, but he didn't want to alarm poor Gwen. Thus turning to face the queen, Merlin covered his hand over her's. 

"Gwen, I'm going to have a look around the area to see if I can collect some herbs and firewood for Gaius. I will be just a few meters away, okay?" 

The queen worried her bottom lip, looking at him with wide doe-eyes filled with concern. Merlin could feel that she wanted to protest, but being the understanding and brave friend she was, she reluctantly nodded her head. 

"There's no need to worry, okay? Nothing will dare come near when I'M HERE!" Merlin grinned cheekily in an attempt to lighten up the mood. Gwen laughed and shooed him away. 

Creeping away the borders of the shrubbery, the servant didn't notice anything strange, no more noise, no foot prints nor paw prints, no blood, nothing out of the ordinary. He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding and bang to make his way back to the clearing where Gwen was waiting for him when out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of blue.   
Turning around, Merlin's heart skipped a beat. Running towards the object, cold realization hit him as his blood ran cold at the sight of the torn blue fabric caught on a craggy tree branch. 

Cenred. 

This can only be from Cenred's men. 

Gwen. Oh no.

His heart skipped a beat. Merlin sprinted back to the clearing as fast he can. Branches caught at his clothes and swiped at his face, but only one concern drove him forward. Gwen. Breaking into the clearing, Merlin froze. His heart pounding. His breath caught in his throat. He shook his head. 

'No.' 

Gwen was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

"Gwen! Gwen!" Panic swept through Merlin, penetrating deep into his bones and clouding his mind until nothing matter except for finding the queen. Frantically Merlin searched wide-eyed like a deer caught in the headlight around the clearing for any signs of the queen or her captors. His chest and throat felt tight with worry. Where was Arthur? He needed to inform the king immediately. 

" _Protect her no matter what."_

The last words of Arthur rang in his head, haunting him as a reminder of his failure to protect not only his friend and queen but also his failure to serve his King. Merlin knew Arthur too well, to not know how the blonde will react and he dreaded to witness it much less be the cause of it, but no matter how difficult it will be for Merlin, Guinevere's life was at stake. With tears pricking at his eyes, Merlin sprinted in Arthur's direction.

The king,empty handed with his shoulders hunched and his brows furrowed, was quietly returning to the clearing, having given up hope of returning with a stag this evening, when suddenly he heard trampling in the forest ahead of him. Darting behind a tree, just out of view, Arthur watched and waited, with his bow poised for whatever beast may charge out from the trees. The trampling was getting louder and louder by the second. Whatever beast it was, it was not small and was obviously charging at great speed. But Arthur was ready to shoot it down.

_Steady. Steady. Shoo-_

_Wait. What?!_

Before his fingers released the bow strings, the flash of blue and red caught his eye before the figure burst out from the trees, wild and disheveled. 

"MERLIN!" 

Merlin turned towards the sound of Arthur's voice. His lungs heaved and he struggled to get air, making his vision a bit blurry but in front of him was definitely his King standing proud and tall with his bow raised.

"Ar-thur....Please....you..........have to......"

Seeing his manservant sprinting towards him out of breath as if his life depended on it, Arthur felt a heavy weight immediately settle in his stomach. Something was desperately wrong.

"Gwen......she...."

At the mention of his wife's name, Arthur surged forward and grabbed Merlin by the shoulders. He started at the sight of tears brimming in his servant's eyes.

"Merlin, Merlin. Calm down. What happened to Guinevere? Tell me what happened." 

The raven stiffened at the authority in Arthur's command and the obvious concern and worry etched upon his tight face. Merlin recognized the situation for what it was. The eye of the storm. Before the most violent and tense aftermath. 

"Gwen's gone." 

Arthur stared at his manservant. Merlin could see the corners of his lips twitching, which would've been funny, had it been in any other circumstance other than this. Silence filled the clearing for a few seconds but it felt like an eternity to Merlin.

"What?! How? How did this happen?!" 

Arthur's eyes bulged as his grip tightened on Merlin's shoulders and for once the manservant was scared, not for his life nor for his safety, but rather for their friendship which had blossomed unexpectedly throughout the years. Merlin had hated the prat the first time he laid eyes on him. Golden. Strong. And handsome. But so undeniably arrogant and demeaning to others. Even when the great dragon Kilgarrah prophesied that Arthur was "the half to his whole", Merlin stubbornly refused to accept his destiny, a destiny which he now dedicates his entire life to achieve. And now he felt as his destiny shatter as his heart shatters. 

"I- I heard a noise behind the shrubbery and went to have a look. At first I didn't find anything suspicious, so I headed back. That's when I saw the blue clothe. It's from Cenred's men, I know it. I sprinted back to the clearing as fast as I could but by then, Gwen was gone." 

Merlin looked through his lashes at the king, worrying his bottom lip. The moment their eyes met, Arthur reeled back from Merlin as if burned and turned away, running his hands through his dirty hair. Letting out a grunt, the king punched the nearest tree trunk with a loud thunk before crumpling down at the base of it in a mixture of pain and sorrow. Merlin rushed over, worry laced in his voice as he pulled at the king's arms. 

"Arthur, let me see your hand. You could've shattered a bone." 

"Go away, Merlin. Leave me be." 

Jerking his arms away from manservant, Arthur turned away once more from Merlin, leaving the raven hollow and empty. Merlin will never show how much Arthur's silence and hostility hurt him. To do that, would be to leave himself open to the bruises and scars that his love for Arthur will inevitably deliver. A love that was never meant to be, a love for a man that was never within his reach, but only came to him in his wildest dreams. With a heavy heart, Merlin sat himself down besides his golden King, providing him with whatever comfort he could offer. 


	3. Chapter 3

Up and down. Up and down.

Arthur paced around his room with the ever-present frown upon his features and his arms folded tensely across his body, barring himself from any human contact. It had been two days since Gwen was taken, snatched under Merlin's care and the king interacted with his manservant only when necessary. And to some extent, Merlin was glad. Although he felt the ache of guilt and loss like a punch to the gut, the disappointment and regret in Arthur's eyes everytime they met his was like a knife, slowly tearing away at Merlin's bleeding heart piece by piece. Even the Knights who were open to exchanging friendly banter and bawdy jokes with the manservant distanced themselves from him, with their comfortable conversations descending into silence and forced greetings whenever Merlin appeared. His fellow servants and the cooks go about their business, paying no attention to Merlin, who for once in his life, felt truly alone. Had he been a weaker man, he would've gone mad with guilt already and jumped off the west tower. But his destiny-the promise of an united Albion- sustained him and although the world is fractured, broken and bleeding around him now, his dreams will stand someday, he is sure of it.

As Merlin set Arthur's dinner on the table, the King continued to pace up and down the room, which used to be lightened by the banter between the king and his servant but now only the crisp footfalls of the king penetrated through the suffocating silence. Merlin watched Arthur out of the corner of his eye like he would a injured beast. How many times had he wanted to apologise over and over again, offer words of comfort to his king, but guilt and fear trapped the words in his throat and the potent disappointment in Arthur's eyes was enough to render him breathless.

The king had aged fifty years during the last two days. The once soft swell of his cheekbones and the gentle crinkles at the corner of his eyes were sharp, deep valleys etched upon the hard plain of his face. His eyes, once a shade of blue that rivaled the seas on a sunny day, now resembled stormy waves, hard and grey. Merlin had missed the Arthur that once shone like the sun, he craved for the open and easy-going nature of their conversations in which the insults and banter belied the friendship and respect that each held for the other. 

"Arthur" Merlin tentatively tried to call the king back into the room. Even if his body was here, his mind was absent. 

"Arthur. Your dinner's ready." 

Once again the king showed no signs that he had heard Merlin, but continued to pace. Unsure whether the king was deliberately ignoring him or if indeed his mind was so far away that he did not register Merlin's words, the servant stepped up to Arthur to lightly touch his arms. At the point of contact, the stony expression of the king finally collapsed as Arthur flinched as if burned before turning his face towards Merlin. Not wanting to push Arthur's boundaries, Merlin addressed Arthur formally in the manner of a servant. 

"Sire, your dinner's getting cold. Please sit and eat." 

Arthur grunted in acknowledgement before taking his usual seat at the head of the table and managed to eat a few mouthfuls of food, then continued to absentmindedly picked at the roast venison. Merlin sighed. The king had had no appetite for the last couple of days, sometimes altogether forgetting to eat until Merlin plead and urged him.

"Arthur, you've barely touched your food. You need to eat something to maintain your energy." 

Merlin reasoned with the king. In truth, his own stomach was grumbling, upset at the lack of food all day, because he had been so damn busy looking after the prat. Doing his laundry, mucking his stables, cleaning his room, polishing his armor. After Gwen disappearance, Merlin performed his duties with a new diligence in part to reduce stress for the king and in part to occupy his own mind from his guilt and sorrow. If Arthur was to rescue Gwen, he would need all his energy to devise a plan, ride to Cenred's kingdom and effectively execute said plan. By now, it had already been established that it was indeed Cenred's men who captured Gwen when a ransom note arrived at Camelot the night before, taunting Arthur to come and fetch his beloved queen. Merlin never knew the exact content of the note, because Arthur, with flared nostrils and bloodshot eyes, scrunched it up and tossed it into the flames as soon as he'd read it. Whatever was in that note had really ignited Arthur's rage, which had continued up to now, having only subsided a bit. 

"I told you, Merlin! I'm not hungry! Why can't you just leave me alone?!"

Arthur banged his fist on the table and turned to Merlin.

"Take this away. NOW" 

Inhaling deeply, Merlin met Arthur's heated gaze head on. He was sick and tired of catering to the prat, who was acting like a goddamn five year old throwing a tantrum. Fine. It was his fault that Gwen was captured, but how many times should he apologise, how many times does he need to beg for forgiveness until Arthur will finally stop directing all his pent up anger and frustrations on him. Merlin had worked his butt off the last two days and had even tried to take on additional duties such as counting the bags of grain harvested in the spring, so that the prat could have plenty of time to calm down and devise a strategy to rescue Gwen. Instead, Arthur refuses to talk to anyone not even his Knights and as far as Merlin was aware, no plan has been devised during the two days which Arthur spent moping. Merlin's own pent-up frustrations plus the irritation from his gnawing hunger and aching bones pushed at the servant's chest, fighting to be let out. 

"Calm down...calm down" 

While the servant tried to calm himself down, the king swept his arms across the table, knocking everything, the plates, the food, the goblets and the drinks onto the floor. The clattering and clashing of metal against the cold stone floor plus the splashing of spilt wine rang temporarily cut through the tense atmosphere in the room before ushering in silence. 

Merlin stared at the mess on the floor. 

Then he lifted his eyes to Arthur and saw red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction, so my writing is not exactly great and the action may seem a little slow-paced, but I promise that the plot line will start to pick up speed in the next chapter. Feel free to comment. Any criticism and praise (if there even is anything deserving of praise) is much appreciated. Thanks :)


	4. Chapter 4

_Merlin stared at the mess on the floor._

_Then he lifted his eyes to Arthur and saw red._

 

"WHAT THE HELL, ARTHUR?"

The raven raised his voice at the king, eyes wide and bloodshot from fury so intense that even Arthur, for a minute, jumped out of his chair in surprise.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO PREPARE THIS FOOD? HOW MUCH EFFORT WAS PUT IN? You ungrateful pompous CLOTPOLE! You really have no appreciation for the work of others, do you?"

A rush of heat swept through Arthur. Merlin may be his friend, but he is ultimately still a servant who has NO right to speak to his master like that. How dare he try to lecture Arthur like that when he was the one that was the cause of this problem!

"Do you wish to be sacked from your job, Merlin?"

Silence cloaked the room, only interrupted by the loud breathing of Merlin, whilst the King, eerily calm and collected, watched his servant with a dead-pan expression.

"No, surely he can't be serious." thought Merlin. But not wanting to take any chances, the servant meekly bowed his head and under his breath, muttered a quiet "No", his anger dying along with Arthur's threat.

Seeing the tension ease out of the raven's shoulders, the King was pleased, but the anger and frustration of the past couple of days still bubbled beneath the surface, making Arthur want to blame the servant, hurt his servant so that he too could feel the pain and guilt tearing away at the king.

"Good. Because let's not forget who's the cause of this situation."

As soon as the words left Arthur mouth, the king regretted them. He knew it was petty, but goddamn it, he was in pain. He saw Merlin's eyes widened at the statement, and it sickened him that he derived pleasure from it. He needed Merlin to feel as guilt as he was feeling, so venomous words kept pouring from his mouth. He couldn't stop, he couldn't control it.

"You were suppose to protect her. I TOLD you to protect her no matter what. But you never listen, do you Merlin? Instead you ran off to........I don't know........to do your own thing and now Gwen is gone." 

Arthur's words stung and pricked at his skin, a hundred needles laced with the poison of his accusation. The raven haired servant visibly flinched, but the king continued in his rampage to deliver the final blow. To their friendship. 

"This is your fault. Why did you not protect her with your life?"

For the first time, Merlin realized exactly his place in Arthur's life and his role in destiny. What was he thinking? He was naive and idiotic to think he would ever be first in Arthur's regard. Was it his fate to always watch from afar the man to whom he dedicated his nature life spend his life with someone else, while he remained alone on this path called destiny? If so, he would've never came to Camelot, never met Arthur nor that stupid dragon and lived his life in peace, but now it was too late. He could never leave Arthur now, when the man had taken so much of his heart. 

But Arthur's heart had never belonged to him, will never belong to him because it was already taken by someone else. Thus as Merlin hides his magic, he must also conceal his heart, but he doesn't regret it. Not one bit. 

His only regret was that he will not live long enough to see the Albion that he has dreamed of for so long. He will not see the king that Arthur will become. But he can not bare to live with Arthur's regret and sorrow at his lost love, at his lost happiness. Stolen from him. By Merlin.

Merlin understands. He understands what he must do. Had he stayed with Gwen, had he sacrificed himself to Cenred's men, Gwen would still be at Arthur's side. Of course, Merlin would be captured or even dead, but better a servant than the queen, right? It would be an acceptable loss. As long as Gwen was by his side, Arthur's dream would be intact and to Merlin, Arthur's happiness is worth more than anything in the world. Even more than his life. 

The dragon had always said that his destiny was to help the Once and Future King unite all of Albion. But Merlin has already provided Arthur with the key cornerstones needed to usher in the dawn of new golden age: he has his people most loyal to him, his Knights who will follow him to the ends of the earth and most importantly his queen cherished above all others. As much as it pains him, there is no place for Merlin in this golden dream of Arthur's. Perhaps his destiny has already run its course. 

There was only one more thing left to do. Rescue Guinevere even if it cost him his life. 

“I am sorry that my actions have caused you grief, Sire” he manages to choke out.

Arthur doesn't even look at him. Can't look at him. The king's face was creased with weariness, shoulders bowed.

“Go away, Merlin,” he says, and his voice is heavy with sorrow and fatigue in equal measure. “Just—leave me be, please.”

Merlin wanted to say so much more. How Arthur will be a great king, how he'll unite the lands of Albion with his fair queen by his side, how he is proud of how much the king has grown. So much knowledge and emotions he's kept locked up inside all these years,  but Arthur doesn't need to, doesn't want to hear them right now.

With a curt bow, Merlin leaves the king's chambers. 

_"Goodbye Arthur"_

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are thoughts. Normal font are conversations. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy even though the chapter is short! I know that my chapters are quite short compared to those of most fanfics, but I'm a busy gal who's just trying to deliver quick and consistent updates, so please forgive me? Please? :) This chapter is more of a filler chapter than anything else.

_"Bring Emerys to us"_

Those four words haunted Arthur in his dream. Emerys. The greatest warlock to have lived. The name was steeped in legends, prophesizing the coming of the Once and Future King who along with the warlock would unite all of Albion. He had asked Geoffrey about the elusive Emerys in his desperation, but after hearing that the figure was the stuff of fairytales and legends, despair and frustration overtook him. How was he suppose to find a warlock, let alone a mythical one, when he was the son of King Uther, the most ruthless hunter of magic kind? Why did Cenred even demand for Emerys? Surely the tyrant, insane and mad as he is, would not be crazy enough to believe in the legends of deranged wizards and witches. Did he think to acquire Emerys to inherit the destiny of the Once and Future King as the ultimate unifier of the lands? Although Arthur would go to the ends of the Earth for his queen, it would not do to chase after this Emerys, a figment of human imagination, when it was obviously unachievable and possibly a ploy to steer him from his resolve to simply ambush Cenred's castle and take his queen by stealth and force. 

In fact Arthur had already discussed the plan of attack with Leon and some of his most trusted Knights. In a bid to evade a full-blown war where both sides would inevitably suffer huge losses, a small-scale rescue mission with a small group of Knights was the best approach. Uther had once successfully broken into Cenred's castle in Mercia in the last war to dethrone Cenred's predecessor, his tyrant uncle, and to this day, his father still had a secret map of the underground tunnels and passages beneath the Mercian castle which was essential to a successful penetration of the defenses. Gwen was held, no doubt, in one of the underground cells where all prisoners and hostages were locked away, which can be easily accessed from the west tunnel. With a unanimous consensus from his Knights, Arthur will set his plan into motion tomorrow, setting out from Camelot to ride to Mercia in the afternoon. He should've told Merlin about the plan because the servant would need to prepare the horses for the mission, during which he will be accompanying them, but he'd already snapped at the manservant, admittedly quite rudely, so now he'd have to get that bootlicker George to clean up the mess on the floor and prepare the horses tomorrow morning. 

_"Great. My life cannot get any better."_

Arthur collapsed onto his bed, groaning. 

 

 

 

 

The dazzling light burned his eyes, followed by the too loud, too cheery "Good morning, Sire" that assaulted his ears. Is it morning already? The king felt like he hadn't slept at all last night. And he certainly wasn't expecting Merlin to show up for his duties, let alone appear so happy and care-free this morning, considering their altercation last night, but it seemed the raven forgives and forgets quickly. For this, Arthur was eternally grateful, for had Merlin been any less of a patient man, surely he would have resigned from his position as Arthur's personal manservant long ago.  However what started out as a grudging obligation soon bloomed into a friendship that thawed his very being which had been so long deprived of love and affection. True, he knew that his father treasured him even above his own life and was proud of Arthur's achievements that exemplified his bravery and valour fitting of a future monarch, but never once had his father celebrated him for who he was as a person. For so long, Arthur had learnt to hide away that insecure but affectionate little boy who longed for understanding and sentiment that his father could not give behind the facade of a proud and emotionless warrior whose sharp manner rendered him untouchable. But when Merlin came along with his bumbling idiocy and unproportionally large ears had incessantly battered down Arthur's defenses with his unreserved smile and unwavering loyalty, allowing that little boy from long ago to see the light of day once more. Merlin had saved him to some extent and became his first and most valued friend, but Arthur would rather rip his arm off than admit it out loud. He already lets the servant get away with too much and there was no need to further inflate his ego. However remembering the way he had snapped at the servant last night made his face tinge red with shame. Next time, he will control his emotions. 

"Argh. Are you serious Merlin? Close the damn curtains!" 

He lazily threw a pillow in the vague direction of Merlin's voice without lifted his head from the bed. 

"Sire, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the day is just beginning! Get up, lazy Daisy!" 

Arthur grunted in annoyance. Someday he is going to kill Merlin and his stupidly happy morning mood by feeding him to the dogs! 

_"Now that I'm wide awake, thanks to the idiot, I might as well inform him of the rescue mission that he will absolutely LOVE this afternoon"_

Arthur smirked. Merlin gulped.


End file.
